being with you

haunt and kill: b-side

2024-11-25T04:02:30Z

My first attempt at writing this, before I decided to go from another direction :)

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our bodies possessed by light: b-sides

2024-11-25T03:58:36Z

Just some porny bits that weren't part of/didn't flow with the sequence of events in the prompt so I ended up scrapping them. Writing smut is just writing action to me.

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getting used to being held by you: b-side

2024-11-25T03:53:10Z

Originally in this fic for Athene, I had written a scene with some intimacy before I realized that I didn't really like its flow in what I wanted the missing scene of the fic to do - both in terms of intimacy and communication, which didn't really quite fit with the following scenes in canon. So I scrapped it.

Here it is :)

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try lines: b-side

2024-10-29T18:10:15Z

This is a bit of Pat and Pran's POV during their first meeting, as the fic is primarily in Wai's POV. But I did have this written before I wrote Wai's POV, so I knew what was happening (or at least, the beginning of) in a conversation of the non-POV character. It is not a deleted scene but rather a "missing scene."

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the ruins left inside you: behind the scenes

2020-12-27T11:14:15Z

I'm writing this during the technical anon period of this fic, since it was, for lack of better place, a Yuletide Madness treat. My recip adspexi and I matched on Jennifer's Body. And then I went to his Twitter and saw immediately that he's into danmei.

And it took like, one scroll down to see that he's also pretty invested in MDZS.

So instantly, I was like. Alright, I'm already going to write a Jennifer's Body fic. But also, what if. What if I just wrote a MDZS Jennfier's Body fusion? Don't know how, don't know who, don't know what, just. What if.

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without a warning: B-Sides

2020-10-06T05:00:03Z

This fic was originally handwritten (in its entirety!), which I might post pictures/scans of one day? There's a lot of deleted bits because I didn't think they flowed well.

And... there's a whole deleted scene at the end because it was mostly to put those removed bits together but I just felt like it was wholly unnecessary. So I'm sticking it here instead, just for funsies \o/

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No Matter What: b-side (deleted scene)

2019-03-24T18:04:58Z

This scene was in my outline, but I had forgotten about it completely and so never ended up writing it in. I wrote this after finishing and publishing it, but didn't want to awkwardly slot it in, especially since it wasn't there in the first place. So! It's here :)

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two in a crowded room while others fade away: b-side [original draft]

2019-03-24T18:03:32Z

So, as I've said a lot of times before, way back when I wrote a 15,000 word draft for this fic, hated it, and rewrote all of it and it ended up being 8k longer than the first draft.

The first draft was originally handwritten. I typed it up, printed it out, and while sending it to about four people to help me beta, beta'd it myself. Just from my own judgment it was bad and awful beyond repair, which was why I ended up rewriting it. I do have the original draft though - all fifteen thousand words of it. I think it was here before, and I deleted it, but it's here again.

This was written in February 2011 and finished around the end of the month. The second draft was written in April 2011, two months after I battled every word here and just decided it was hopeless. But I like archiving my attempts and 'outtakes' and whatnot of my writing, so! Here it is :)

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Skirting: B-side (deleted scene)

2019-03-24T18:00:15Z

This was meant to take place between:

Liam laughs and Zayn says, "Yeah, you better be fuckin' terrified of the matriarchy."

*

This time they're in Niall's car, and Zayn has her on her back, pressed against the backseats.

See where that asterisk is? Yeah. Anyway, I cut this because I didn't feel like it contributed to the fic at all. It was meant to take up time and fluff-space but it was just excessively needless. So, it's here now!

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to sing of the damage: b-sides

2019-03-24T17:54:08Z

This probably shouldn't be read without finishing the fic first, since it won't make sense out of context. And also has spoilers P:

( bloopers )
( deleted scene )

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we are for each other then: b-side (blooper)

2019-03-24T17:44:17Z

This was the original scene for we are for each other then, part three, scene two (Eduardo's first POV scene in that section.) I didn't like it because I made Eduardo way too genial and easy-to-forgive, when both realistically and in my head I picture her much more frosty and not easily forgiving and distrustful of Mark. Because, you know, considering.

Anyway, so the current version definitely has that reluctance and antagonism, for contextual reasons within the movie and also spurring the, like, next 13000 words of that scene. But this is the friendlier version that I had first written before I decided I didn't like it. This, like all other scenes of the fic (with a few exceptions) were originally written on my phone, so there is no formatting.

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a purveyor of tragedy, and all the things that follow: b-side (blooper)

2019-03-24T17:43:35Z

Original last scene for a purveyor of tragedy, and all the things that follow. In its place I had written the three shorter (altogether longer) scenes at the end, with all of their POVs; but this was just Erica's. I didn't feel particularly like this fit or wrapped the fic up properly, even though it does display the domesticity I wanted to establish in the end.

I think it works better with the hesitance between Mark and Erica rather than the security of Mark and Eduardo in the end. Mark and Erica's relationship always had a tension and was on the line for this entire fic, so it felt far more fitting to end with at least growing the reestablishment of that rather than a sudden jump into security about their relationship and then overlooking it for Erica/Eduardo for true finality, when Erica/Eduardo was more of a plot device in this fic than anything.

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That Nothing Can Tear: B-Side (discontinued sequel)

2019-03-24T17:34:46Z

Literally almost a year ago - April 29, 2016 according to my Google Drive - I started to write a coda to That Nothing Can Tear. The reason I stopped and am no longer interested in it is because:

I wrote the fic with the intention of not having a sequel, and with having a cliffhanger, thusly
SORRY FOR THE SAD ENDING GUYS BUT I ACTUALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT RESOLVING IT BECAUSE THE SAD ENDING IS INTENTIONAL

You can Death of the Author me if you'd like of course (although I'm not dead, at the moment of writing this) but I did write this domestic/fluff pseudo sequel only a few months after writing the original fic. It contains some meta on the fic itself because I'm like that; and it's also in Mark's POV, which is even more interesting and enlightening.

I don't technically consider it to be part of my fic's "canon," but this is all fanfiction so who cares. So here it is.

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burn down my throat like a building: b-side

2019-03-24T17:34:13Z

Originally I had not written burn down my throat like a building to be a drabble collection thing, but as it turns out I knew what direction it was headed in when written that way, so alas.

Anyway, I did start it in a more typical prose manner. Since necessarian and I have been doing our prompt battles over at twodongs, I'd originally written a part of this for our "past tense" prompt, not our drabble prompt. So this is what had come of it. It was also supposed to be a coffeeshop meetugly, but, well.

(It's pretty obvious that I recycled themes from this and reused them in the final product.)

(This was also originally written in the first person before I'd given up on that, hah.)

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Solstice: B-Sides

2019-03-24T17:27:30Z

This was what Solstice was originally supposed to be - an epic that spanned all of Asahi, Daichi, and Suga's high school years with switching POVs - but I neither had the stamina nor the motivation to write it in full, and instead, well, came up with Solstice.

This is what I had of the beginning - it's really terribly boring, sorry.

( blooper reel )

When I was writing this, there were at points moments I forgot what I intended for the emotional beats to be so I had to rewrite some of it. This was the most notable part - I hadn't realized I kind of wanted Asahi to have an anxiety attack after running into Daichi, so I'd originally written this genial and easygoing lunch scene. When I realized, I backtracked and fixed it, of course - it's in the fic now - but this is what the end of the shopping scene originally looked like.

( deleted scene )

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all the love was hesitated: b-sides

2019-03-24T16:54:48Z

I had a couple of first tries for this. I like Cho/Luna, but I haven't thought about them much so it was difficult for me to get a handle at first. I'm pretty okay with the result, but I had two attempts prior.

(One of them was written longhand and isn't typed up yet; I'll edit this post with it when I do.)

( blooper reel 1 )
( blooper reel 2 )

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when you pour your heart on me: b-sides

2019-03-24T16:45:13Z

I tried writing this fic about twice; bluedreaming had given me the prompt of Mark/Eduardo wherein Eduardo is a foreign exchange student, and there are a lot of ways I could've gone with it, hence the multiple attempts. It sounds like something that could be done in a longer fic, but I like how I managed to make it short-form, since it's cute and to the point that way.

Anyway, here are the extended attempts I'd tried on the same day. There's also a brief outline at the end of what I thought I could do, except then it would've been long-winded and something that I wasn't particularly excited about writing.

( blooper one )
( blooper two )

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